# 51 Hitting a Brick Wall

Ow! Ow! Ow!

I just hit a brick wall.

These days seniors like us hit many brick walls Some because of health and age issues. Some because of financial problems. The wall I hit was about a relationship.

In my 80+ years of life I have learned much about getting through tough spots. Persistence and prayer usually work. But a brick wall? Butting my head against a brick wall can just get me hurt … not through it. If I keep trying I just get angry and bitter. Not good. I want to live my geezer years in joy!

Why is there a brick wall between me and the person, (a woman) in the relationship? There could be one of two reasons. The obvious reason is that the other person wants no more of me. Forcibly trying to break through that wall would be harassment. I don’t want that. But there is another possibility. It could be that God put the brick wall there because I was getting hurt in the relationship and God was watching my back. Butting my head against a wall that God built is dumb and stupid.

Is there another way? Another way to live my geezer years in joy? Yes there is but there is a little pain involved. I need to change, like look and move in a new direction. Change always requires a little pain … for a while … but it is good pain.

And so I look in a new direction. And see new people. And there are no walls.

I guess God has my back!

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Photo by cousin Harvey George



#35 Starting Over: The Decision

In the wee hours of the morning I made the decision. I’m going to start my life over. Reboot. Seems to help my computer and has helped me before.

Start over at 85?  Shouldn’t I just concentrate on putting my affairs in order and just die? No way!

“Putting my Affairs in order?” In order for what? I’ll tell you what I need to do. Change what is not working and start over. Another part of my  Decision is to write some of these things down and pass them along to you, my reader. Hey, some day you may decide not to accept where your life is heading. So this is a log (blog?) of what is working for me. So here we go!

I’m sitting on a pillow thrown over a folding chair in front of my sliding glass doors. I have a view of the Boston skyline and Fore River. I’m writing in a black marble composition book propped on a high wooden stool. Writing with a blue Bic pen. Simple.

And I have closed down my mind to only the thoughts and sensations of the very moment. Unplugged from the past or the future. The future waits for my command. I say, “I’m happy!”

And my mind sends signals that send happy juices throughout my body. Healing has begun.

Now I stimulate myself with a cuppa coffee. Instan with milk and sugar.and I think, “Doug … something must be wrong with you that you want to start life over.” And you may wonder if I am going to tell you.

Not going to happen. But I will say this. Back in the day, many years ago, I worked for a few years at Guideposts, founded by Norman Vincent Peale. Norman changed the world. Transformed the lives of many people from sadness and misery to joy and fulfilment. Norman wrote a book and taught many sermons on “The Power of Positive Thinking.”

Change your thinking and change your life.  Like the old song says:

You gotta accentuate the positive,
Eliminate the negative,
An’ latch on
To the affirmative
Don’t mess with mister in-between!

You gotta spread joy up to the maximum,
Bring gloom down to the minimum,
An’ have faith (amen!)
Or pandemonium’s
Liable to walk upon the scene.

Listen to the once famous Bing Crosby sing it:


So … that’s my decision. And I will tell you more of the adventures in the following blogs.

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 See my little piece on living in the moment:


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#2 Measure Twice

Good Morning my Biddie and Geezer friends and followers. Sometimes the best thing to do is to do NOTHING!

I successfully managed to do nothing on an issue. I am very pleased with myself. For many years of my life, before I became a Geezer, my discipline was, “Just Do It!” And much of my life got done effectively … sometimes at a cost.

Now that I’m a Geezer, I need a different philosophy. Carpenters and dressmakers often quote the slogan, “Measure twice; cut once!” With the help of my friend Pam, I applied that to one of my relationships.


Something occurred in one of my relationships. You don’t need to know exactly except it was a bit traumatic for me. I was ready to “do something.” Fortunately, I decided to tell my friend Pam about the situation. Her advice? DO NOTHING. She said, “Do nothing and in a few days it will be as if it never happened. And your relationship will go on.”

So … repressing my life-long discipline of fixing everything RIGHT NOW by JUST DOING SOMETHING, I decided to wait. Acting right away would be like cutting a board after measuring only once. Maybe an irreversible error. I did nothing.

Two weeks later I discovered that not only was my “measurement” of the situation completely incorrect, but the board did not need cutting at all. My first measurement was completely wrong.

Now, there is one more ingredient to the story. Where I got it right. During the two weeks I lived my life “In the Moment” without thoughts of the situation that prompted me to want to “cut the board.” Thank you Pam.

So this is a blog about second chances … but giving yourself a second chance before you screw up. There is a story I wrote about a second chance after you screw up It’s Pentimento: A Second Chance at Love

pentimento ,noun,

Painting, the presence, or emergence of earlier images, forms, or strokes that have been changed and painted over.

Read it at:


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